I weighed in this morning as planned. I wasn’t jumping for joy by any means. I’m sort of indifferent to the scale right now.
Weigh in #5 = 161.4
Last weigh in I was 162. I think I definitely have a handle on maintenance. The whirlwind of holiday parties and December birthdays has begun and I’m just taking it one event at a time. I attended a retirement party for one of the doctors at work last week and I enjoyed a small plate of food and I passed on the cake. Tonight is a coworker’s birthday. Nurses are notorious for bringing in tons of food for any celebration. Thankfully I only work with two people on my unit. Usually we just bring a cupcake for the birthday girl or some other treat they enjoy. On my birthday the girls brought a fruit platter! I thought that was so thoughtful.
I have to say that I have the most supportive coworkers and husband when it comes to trying to lose weight. If I say no to a sweet treat or other food they never try to coerce me into eating it nor do they say things like “come on it’s just one,” or ” you have to live a little.”
Growing up we were always encouraged to eat more. Seconds were normal and portions were huge. To this day my mother will try to make me eat the last piece of something or offer seconds despite knowing how much I have struggled with my weight. I don’t think she’s trying to be malicious. I just think she is set in her ways and to her offering food and nourishment is somehow equated to offering love and caring..
I received an email the other day from Amanda, a graduate student at Clark University. She is doing a study about people who experience a spouse trying to sabotage their efforts to eat healthier. Fortunately for me I don’t fit the criteria to participate in the study because my husband does not exhibit sabotaging behaviors, but she has asked me to pass the information along in hopes of possibly finding others who might be able to take part in the study. The following is from the email Amanda sent to me:
While it’s hard losing weight on your own, it’s not necessarily easier with a spouse or partner. Sometimes partners/spouses undermine weight loss through acts like complaining about healthier food, gifting high-caloric foods, or even through abusive language/acts. I’m creating an anonymous, online survey to assess for partner undermining and to learn more from those who experience it. To be eligible to take the survey, participants need to have experienced this in their current relationship (of at least the past 2 years), and have been participating in a weight loss program for the past 5 consecutive weeks. For more info, you can check out http://tinyurl.com/Clark-Study or Google PUBS-WL.
Also, here’s a link describing my study on a blog post by an obesity medicine doctor, Dr. Yoni Freedhoff:
http://www.weightymatters.ca/2011/11/is-your-spouse-sabotaging-your-weight.html?m=1
I’d really appreciate your help spreading the word about my survey as I think this is a very worthwhile and important study that could help health care professionals better understand their patients’ barriers to weight loss.
Thank you in advance for your help,
Amanda G. Harp, M.A.
Doctoral Candidate
Clinical Psychology
Clark University
Worcester, MA
aharp@clarku.edu
If anyone reading this might be able to help or might know of somebody who could help Amanda please email her or link to the study. According to the informational page the survey should take no more than 45 minutes and it is completely anonymous. There is also an opportunity to enter a drawing for $100 if you participate in the study.
I know there are so many people out there trying to live a healthier lifestyle but they have a difficult time leaving behind old habits because the people around them are still engaging in the behaviors. I know that only I can lose the weight, but it sure is nice to know that I have support from the people I’m around the most especially my husband.
Wordless Wednesday: Garmin
The Garmin speaks the truth - 22.01 miles
Friend Makin’ Mondays: I Am
I really enjoy taking part in Friend Makin’ Mondays even though I don’t get a chance to do it until Tuesday. It’s a nice break from all the running talk. If you’re new to Friend Makin’ Mondays, please answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at:www.alltheweigh.com so everyone can see your FMM questions and answers. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so after posting your own FMM post on Kenlie’s page take some time to comment on a couple of other posts. Here is this week’s topic:
FMM: I am…
1. I am good at…listening to others. I really am. I actually look at people when they are talking to me. I am engaged in what they are saying rather than drifting off into my own world. I let people finish a sentence or an entire paragraph without interrupting.
2. I am happy when…I see my son’s face or hear his voice. He just makes me smile.
3. I am working on…loving myself for who I am right now.
4. I am interested in…a million things! Right now my interests are running, learning to cook and bake vegan, and improving my really crappy photography skills.
5. I am always…awake?! That was the first thing that came to mind. It often feels like I’m always awake because I work nights.
6. I am enjoying…blogging. I was a bit on the fence about it in the beginning, but I enjoy it a lot. It’s a great outlet for all of the many thoughts I have and it’s been a fun way for me to document my marathon training.
7. I am in…my kitchen in Western Massachusetts. Boring!
8. I am reading…Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. It is interesting enough that I want to finish it but it is definitely not gripping enough to keep me from putting it down. There are so many books I would like to read just have a look at my Good Reads To Read Shelf.
9. I am concerned about…my husband who was just laid off yesterday. He is a mason and winter layoffs are expected, but this one came as a surprise and much sooner than anticipated. We plan for it financially each year, but I always worry about his spirit when this happens. He is a hard worker and likes to have a routine. It’s not even 9am here and my husband has already left to meet with his union representative to see about other work in the area. Deep down I know everything will be ok, it always is, but initially the layoff creates a worry in me. Of course it is always around the holidays which makes it more frustrating.
10. I am looking forward to…the Disney Marathon and our Florida vacation. Seriously after my 22 mile run on Sunday I am so ready for this race!
Marathon Training Week 20
Marathon training is going great. With the unseasonal somewhat warmer weather I have been doing almost all of my runs outside. Not one run this week stands out as being bad. In fact they were all really good runs.
|
Date |
Scheduled Run |
Actual Workout |
| Sunday, 11/27/11 | 6 Mile Run | 6 Mile Run
|
| Monday, 11/28/11 | 5 Mile Run
|
5 Mile Run |
| Tuesday, 11/29/11
|
Rest Day | Rest Day |
| Wednesday, 11/30/11 | 8 Mile Run
|
8 Mile Run |
| Thursday, 12/1/11 | Rest Day
|
Rest Day |
| Friday, 12/2/11 | 4 Mile Run
|
4 Mile Run |
| Saturday, 12/3/11 | 22 Mile Run | 45 Minutes on the Arc Trainer at the gym and upper body strength training |
I had a phenomenal 8 mile run on Wednesday. I am starting to feel like I’m hitting my groove with running. The 4 mile run on Friday was one of my fastest runs since my rib injury.
My long runs are always scheduled for Saturday, but the way I have designed the schedule I can do the long run on either Saturday or Sunday. I usually like to get it over with on Saturday. This week we had a busy Saturday. My car was scheduled for an oil change, Carlos had a birthday party and my husband and I had plans to go out to dinner. I scanned the weather as the weekend neared and Sunday looked like it was going to be a bit warmer. Rather than cramming a 22 mile run in on a busy Saturday I decided to hold off until Sunday.
I went to the gym instead on Saturday morning and did the Arc Trainer and some upper body strength training with free weights. Then I brought the car to the dealer for an oil change and enjoyed an hour all to myself in the waiting room. They have the most comfortable leather sofas. I sunk into the sofa with a cup of complimentary tea and caught up on blogs via my iPhone since my laptop had been at the Apple Store since the day before with a malfunctioning keyboard (I spilled some water on it accidentally, shhhh!). It’s all fixed now. I used to ask my husband to deal with all the car related issues, but I think I’m going to take over routine maintenance visits that I will conveniently schedule on Saturday mornings.
After a visit to Kringle Candle last weekend, my husband and I were intrigued by the restaurant there. I had this weekend off and we were able to get a babysitter so it was perfect timing. The restaurant is called The Farm Table. The restaurant focuses “on healthy, ethical and sustainable farm-to-table food practices and local vendors.” This is a photo from the week before when we went with Carlos. I wish I had some photos from inside because it was beautiful.
The Farm Table Restaurant at Kringle Candle
The funniest part of the evening was when Orlando came back from the bathroom and said, “Aim you have to go to the bathroom right now.” Me: “I don’t have to go now. I’ll go later.” Orlando: “No please go now so we can talk about it!” I opened the bathroom door and I knew exactly what he meant. It was stunning with its marble floors and counters that beautifully paired with quaint country accents of wrought iron, natural woodwork and faintly glowing antique lighting.
Dinner was fabulous. I had the Salad of Pears, Arugula and Great Hill Blue Cheese with Spiced Walnuts and White Balsamic Vinaigrette followed by Organic Roasted Delicata Squash Stuffed with Root Vegetables, Herb Risotto, Fontina Cheese, and Sauteed Autumn Greens. Orlando and I got separate desserts to share. He got the goat cheesecake with a fig spread and honey coated peanuts and I got the chocolate salted caramel dessert plate. Orlando’s was incredible. Mine lacked the salty sweet sensation I had hoped for.
I woke up feeling rested and ready to run on Sunday morning at 6am, a little later than I had planned. I had prepared everything the night before so all I had to do was get ready and go. Recap of the long run coming soon.
Metaphors
I am not very philosophical. I once took a philosophy class during my freshman year of college. The professor was a fascinating woman who had been imprisoned in a concentration camp during World War II. Her wisdom was unassuming, yet she was a brilliant woman with a kind heart. I was like a fish out of water in her class surrounded by much older (the oldest was probably 30 but that was old to me at 18 years old!) and I assumed much wiser students. We read works by Dostoevsky, Kafka and Nietzsche to name a few. I read and reread paragraph after paragraph doing my best to understand the underlying meaning of the words, the metaphors and the symbolism buried in the sentences. Remember these were the days before the internet when you couldn’t just google the meaning of the stories.
Finally in a fit of frustration I went to the professor and told her that I thought I should drop the class because I just wasn’t intelligent enough. Tears filled my eyes because I felt like such a failure. She sat back and sighed before saying, “Aimee you are doing just fine. It’s the students who think they understand everything that worry me. Please do not leave the class and don’t be intimidated by the others.” She urged me to focus on the final project and assured me that she was there if I needed anything else. I aced that final. I still remember it. I had to write a paper and do a presentation for the class on Ibsen’s, The Wild Duck.
However, it was a quote from A Doll’s House by Ibsen that has stuck with me all these years. The main character Nora said,”If I’m ever to reach any understanding of myself and the things around me, I must learn to stand alone.” Just as I had to learn to stand alone in that class I have also had to learn to stand alone in my quest for self improvement. For so many years I have lived unhappy with myself, my body and my lack of will power to change the problem. I am fiercely independent, yet I always seemed to look to others to help me change the things I liked least about myself. All this time I really needed to learn how to use the tools I already have to lead a healthier lifestyle. No one can change another person. It has been up to me this entire time. Until I took the initiative and started actually doing the work no amount of support could have made me stick with the changes; changes I hope will be a part of my life forever.
I ran a long way today. Throughout the course of my 22 mile run I had a lot of time to think. I started running to help myself get healthy so I can enjoy my time raising Carlos and hopefully live long enough to know my grandchildren one day. I never realized how much running would inspire me. I’ve heard others talk about running in terms of being a metaphor for life. It certainly is in my case. Running has taught me things no classroom or book ever could. It signifies my journey towards health, self-acceptance and confidence. With each run I learn so much about myself. Running is my special time. It is my time to think, to breathe, to simply be, to work out stress, to unwind, and to push myself beyond my comfort zone.
December 2
The days from Thanksgiving until today mark a time full of difficult memories for me, my mom and my sister. The memories are of my stepfather, Ralph. He died 15 years ago today after suffering a massive heart attack at home. The suddenness and the shock of his death saturated our lives for a long time after. He was the glue that held our little family together. Ralph brought a great deal of happiness to our lives and to the lives of everyone he met. He had one of those personalities, you know the kind that just puts you at ease immediately. His jovial laugh, Rhode Island accent and sincere smile made him immediately likable to everyone he met.
Thanksgiving was the last holiday we celebrated together. My sister was studying in Spain that year. It was a quiet holiday weekend. I lived at home though I had graduated from college earlier that year. I left for work the Monday after Thanksgiving. I always gave my mother and Ralph a hug and said, “I love you.” Ralph worked at home on Mondays. I worked in a small office at the university I graduated from. Most Mondays I would call Ralph to chit chat. This Monday was no different, except when I called my uncle answered the phone and urged me to come home immediately. My uncle also worked from home on Mondays and he and Ralph usually met for coffee. My uncle found Ralph on the sofa, unresponsive. He called 911 and tried his best to resuscitate him. It was too late.
The rest of the day is blur. I had never lost anyone I was close to until that day. Our lives have never been the same especially my mom’s. Ralph was a wonderful man who brought so much joy to our family. He had no children of his own and always loved us as though we were just as special. He was careful not to take the place of our father, but became more of a mentor to me during my awkward, frustrating teen years. Ralph listened and offered advice. He always reminded me that I was perfect just the way I was.
Ralph was a big man who loved to smoke and eat. I mean he genuinely loved smoking and eating. He ate rich Italian cuisine. He smoked anywhere from a pack to three packs of cigarettes a day. He lived his life exactly how he wanted to (and don’t think for one minute that this doesn’t anger me at times when I think about how his life ended too quickly). His death shook me up. It reminded me that we are not immortal. I knew then that I had to start taking care of myself or I too would risk heart attack and other health issues. I was a smoker at the time Ralph died. I quit 13 years ago. My weight issues have taken longer to rectify and my shift to a healthier diet didn’t begin right away, but it was constantly on my mind.
I miss Ralph and still think of him often. I wish Carlos could know him. I can only imagine the close relationship the two of them would have. I know that he would have loved my husband. I also think he would be proud of me for how I’ve changed my life over the past few years.
I ran this morning like I do most Friday mornings while Carlos is at school. The weather has been pleasantly surprising me on my run days. It was crisp and cool but the sun was shining bright. I have been experiencing great runs lately and today was no different. My legs wanted to move and my breathing took no time to get under control. I sped around the reservoir at a comfortable yet noticeably faster pace than usual. I completed 4 miles in just under 40 minutes which is a record of sorts for me since I broke my rib back in September. I thought a lot about Ralph on my run. December 2 will always be a day I remember. It will always be a day that reminds me to tell my family I love them, to hug my husband and son as much as possible, and to appreciate life.
Friend Makin’ Mondays: Holiday Shopping
I did this last week for the first time. I tend to be a day behind because I always post my marathon training recap on Monday. I tried to get this up last night, but I didn’t happen. If you’re new to Friend Makin’ Mondays, please answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so everyone can see your FMM questions and answers. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so after posting your own FMM post on Kenlie’s page take some time to comment on a couple of other posts. Here is this week’s topic!
Friend Makin’ Mondays: Holiday Shopping
1. Do you like to shop? I do like to shop. I don’t always feel like shopping though. I have to be in the mood for it.
2. Have you started Christmas shopping yet? No I haven’t. I can’t seem to get organized this year. I tried to shop some of the Cyber Monday sales but I had so many other things to do today.
3. Did you shop on Black Friday? if so, what did you buy? No I had to work Thanksgiving night. Although even if I didn’t have to work I wouldn’t have gone shopping. It’s madness out there!
4. List a few of your favorite stores. Don’t laugh but two of my favorite stores are Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s. I could spend hours browsing through Whole Foods. I also like Target, Loft and Ann Taylor. Those are stores I actually shop in. Then there are stores like Williams-Sonoma and Pottery Barn that I basically just browse in.
5. What is the last thing you purchased for yourself? We went to Kringle candle over the weekend and I bought some candles.
6. Do you prefer to shop in-store or online? I love the ease of online shopping but I hate paying shipping charges. If I can get free shipping then I usually buy online. I don’t buy clothing too often online because it can be a hassle to return. Amazon is one of my favorite places to shop online.
7. If you could purchase one thing that you don’t need at all for yourself today, what would it be? If money were no object I would buy myself an iPad.
8. Does your significant other shop with you? Not usually but it is because of our schedules and childcare. I like shopping with my husband. He is a great bargain hunter. Do they love it/hate it? My husband likes to shop but leaves the gift buying up to me.
9. Do you shop at thrift stores? I haven’t in a while but I always have fun when I do.
10. When your holiday shopping do you make lists? I make lists for everything. Google Tasks is my favorite list maker. Yes I definitely have a list of people I need to buy Christmas gifts for. I also keep a list of gift ideas for people throughout the year as they mention things they might like.
Marathon Training: Week 19
This week I just felt like running. My runs were good and on two occasions I ran more than the scheduled mileage because I felt like it. I enjoyed great outdoor weather for most of my runs. I ran on the treadmill twice and oddly didn’t hate it. One of the days was weather related and the other was by choice. Maybe it’s because winter is near and I understand that the treadmill and I will have to rekindle our relationship.
|
Date |
Scheduled Run |
Actual Workout |
| Sunday, 11/20/11 | Rest Day | Rest Day |
| Monday, 11/21/11 | 5 Mile Run | 5 Mile Run |
| Tuesday, 11/22/11 | Rest Day | Rest Day |
| Wednesday, 11/23/11 | 4 Mile Run | 5 Mile Run and upper body strength training at the gym |
| Thursday, 11/24/11 | 10 Mile Run | 10 Mile Run – My solo turkey trot |
| Friday, 11/25/11 | 3 Mile Pace Run | 5 Miles on the treadmill including hill intervals and speed intervals; upper body strength training |
| Saturday, 11/26/11 | 8 Mile Run | 8 Mile Run |
Next week marks a big finale to the long runs. I will attempt a 22 mile run either Saturday or Sunday depending on the weather and my schedule which is always subject to change. I’m shooting for Saturday because it would be nice to get it over and done with so I can enjoy the weekend. This will be longest run to date and it will be the furthest distance I run before the marathon. I can’t believe that marathon training has reached this point. I am thrilled with how well it is going despite the early challenges. I haven’t even run my first marathon but I have already compiled a list of reasons why I know it won’t be my last marathon:
- I have plotted about a million ways I could make the training better next time.
- I dream about running certain marathons like Chicago, the Marine Corps Marathon in D.C. and New York.
- Even better than the three I listed above, I convinced my husband with little effort to make our next trip to Mozambique to visit his family in fall of 2013 so I can run the Cape Town Marathon while nearby.
- Do not laugh but I think someday I could beat Oprah’s time of 4:29:15 in the Marine Corps Marathon in 2009. Nothing wrong with a little friendly competition O!
- I love having a training schedule. It keeps me accountable and focused. I’m a little apprehensive about not having one, but not to worry I’ve got a plan already in the works for after the Disney Marathon and it’s not another marathon (at least not yet).
I reserve the right to change any and all opinions regarding a second marathon depending on the outcome of the first. These are the crazy things I think of when running. When I’m running the actual marathon this list could turn into reasons why I’ll never torture myself this badly again!!
Have a wonderful Monday!
Weigh in day: Week 4
I’m just going to get right into it. I weighed myself this morning and I was shocked.
Weigh in #4 = 162
Then I left for my solo turkey trot. I ran 10 miles at the reservoir this morning. I did the same thing last year and I’ve decided to make it a tradition. I did a lot of thinking on that run. At first I was angry, angry at the scale, at myself, at my body. Then the anger turned into a string of justifications. I’m PMSing. I’m running more. I ate more than a few of the treats I baked last night for Thanksgiving including Mama Pea’s Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Balls and Chocolate Chip Cookies with Sea Salt. Vegan does not equal fat free, but it does equal delicious. Try them you won’t be sorry, but only try one or two then give them all away.
After being angry and blaming the weight gain on random things I started to calm down. In my comment on Biz’s Holiday Challenge update this week I wrote:
“OK so as far as the challenge goes, I’m feeling so unaccomplished. I weigh in again on Thursday, but honestly I don’t feel much different. My goal was to lose 10 pounds by the end of the year and I’ve done nothing but stay the same. I was thinking about my goal today. Was it realistic given that I’m training for a marathon? I do not use running as an allowance to eat whatever I want. However, I do realize that I need to nourish my body after it has run 10, 15, 20 miles. I try to be sensible about replenishing calories. I have maintained my weight throughout training and actually have lost 2 pounds since the actual beginning of marathon training.”
I probably won’t lose 10 pounds by the end of the year. That’s ok. I will lose it after the marathon. The scale is not going away yet because this is a challenging time of year. Food is everywhere and not necessarily healthy food. There is a party every week it seems between now and Christmas. I no longer see the holidays as a time to indulge and lose sight of healthy behaviors. I have worked very hard to maintain this weight that I am at for over a year and I intend on staying here until the marathon is over. If I end up losing a pound or two great. I suspect that the 162 is largely due to a bit of water retention and if I’m correct then the scale will return to the 160 it seems so comfortable.
I may not meet my Holiday Challenge goal, but the challenge has helped me to meet other bloggers, stay focused on portion sizes, and be cognizant of what I’m eating despite all the miles I’m running. My weight loss journey is far from over, but at least I’m no longer waiting for it to end. I’m out there running and strength training, playing outside with my son, baking and cooking more and more healthy recipes that are whole food and plant based, eating a rainbow of colors and enjoying it. I’m happy, healthy and I have more energy than I have ever had before.
I am thankful for so many things in my life on this Thanksgiving Day. Here are my top 5:
- My beautiful son Carlos tops my list. He makes me smile and truly makes me want to be a better person. When I run I do it for both of us. I want him to grow up with a healthy, happy Mom and I want him to know he can do anything he sets his mind to.
- My handsome husband Orlando is next on my list. We celebrated 10 years of marriage in September and it has been wonderful. I love him very much.
- Breaking my rib in September…weird right?! I know it sounds crazy, but in a strange way I’m grateful for the experience. It reminded me of how I take my good health for granted sometimes. It taught me to listen to my body and treat it with care. It also proved to me how incredible the body really is and how deserving it is of excellent nutrition and fitness.
- My job. I’m lucky to have a job and even luckier to have a job that I really like. I have to work tonight and I don’t even mind. I’m looking forward to seeing the girls I work with. We generally have an enjoyable time no matter what.
- Running. I promise to not get all sappy about how running has changed my life so I’ll just leave it at that!
I am also very thankful for those of you who have been visiting my blog and leaving kind, encouraging comments. Thank you so much. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Wordless Wednesday: Flowers
It is a bitter cold, rainy day. Last week Carlos and I attended the Chrysanthemum Show at the Smith College Botanical Garden. On this dreary gray day I thought a little color was in order. Here are just some few of the many photos we took. Carlos was using my iPhone and I was using my Canon Rebel T1I which I desperately need to learn more about.
Aim 