Category Archives: Running

Metaphors

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I am not very philosophical. I once took a philosophy class during my freshman year of college. The professor was a fascinating woman who had been imprisoned in a concentration camp during World War II. Her wisdom was unassuming, yet she was a brilliant woman with a kind heart. I was like a fish out of water in her class surrounded by much older (the oldest was probably 30 but that was old to me at 18 years old!) and I assumed much wiser students. We read works by Dostoevsky, Kafka and Nietzsche to name a few. I read and reread paragraph after paragraph doing my best to understand the underlying meaning of the words, the metaphors and the symbolism buried in the sentences. Remember these were the days before the internet when you couldn’t just google the meaning of the stories.

Finally in a fit of frustration I went to the professor and told her that I thought I should drop the class because I just wasn’t intelligent enough. Tears filled my eyes because I felt like such a failure. She sat back and sighed before saying, “Aimee you are doing just fine. It’s the students who think they understand everything that worry me. Please do not leave the class and don’t be intimidated by the others.” She urged me to focus on the final project and assured me that she was there if I needed anything else. I aced that final. I still remember it. I had to write a paper and do a presentation for the class on Ibsen’s, The Wild Duck.

However, it was a quote from A Doll’s House by Ibsen that has stuck with me all these years. The main character Nora said,”If I’m ever to reach any understanding of myself and the things around me, I must learn to stand alone.” Just as I had to learn to stand alone in that class I have also had to learn to stand alone in my quest for self improvement. For so many years I have lived unhappy with myself, my body and my lack of will power to change the problem. I am fiercely independent, yet I always seemed to look to others to help me change the things I liked least about myself. All this time I really needed to learn how to use the tools I already have to lead a healthier lifestyle. No one can change another person. It has been up to me this entire time. Until I took the initiative and started actually doing the work no amount of support could have made me stick with the changes; changes I hope will be a part of my life forever.

I ran a long way today. Throughout the course of my 22 mile run I had a lot of time to think. I started running to help myself get healthy so I can enjoy my time raising Carlos and hopefully live long enough to know my grandchildren one day. I never realized how much running would inspire me. I’ve heard others talk about running in terms of being a metaphor for life. It certainly is in my case. Running has taught me things no classroom or book ever could. It signifies my journey towards health, self-acceptance and confidence. With each run I learn so much about myself. Running is my special time. It is my time to think, to breathe, to simply be, to work out stress, to unwind, and to push myself beyond my comfort zone.

December 2

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The days from Thanksgiving until today mark a time full of difficult memories for me, my mom and my sister. The memories are of my stepfather, Ralph. He died 15 years ago today after suffering a massive heart attack at home. The suddenness and the shock of his death saturated our lives for a long time after. He was the glue that held our little family together. Ralph brought a great deal of happiness to our lives and to the lives of everyone he met. He had one of those personalities, you know the kind that just puts you at ease immediately. His jovial laugh, Rhode Island accent and sincere smile made him immediately likable to everyone he met.

Thanksgiving was the last holiday we celebrated together. My sister was studying in Spain that year. It was a quiet holiday weekend. I lived at home though I had graduated from college earlier that year. I left for work the Monday after Thanksgiving. I always gave my mother and Ralph a hug and said, “I love you.” Ralph worked at home on Mondays. I worked in a small office at the university I graduated from. Most Mondays I would call Ralph to chit chat. This Monday was no different, except when I called my uncle answered the phone and urged me to come home immediately. My uncle also worked from home on Mondays and he and Ralph usually met for coffee. My uncle found Ralph on the sofa, unresponsive. He called 911 and tried his best to resuscitate him. It was too late.

The rest of the day is blur. I had never lost anyone I was close to until that day. Our lives have never been the same especially my mom’s. Ralph was a wonderful man who brought so much joy to our family. He had no children of his own and always loved us as though we were just as special. He was careful not to take the place of our father, but became more of a mentor to me during my awkward, frustrating teen years. Ralph listened and offered advice. He always reminded me that I was perfect just the way I was.

Ralph was a big man who loved to smoke and eat. I mean he genuinely loved smoking and eating. He ate rich Italian cuisine. He smoked anywhere from a pack to three packs of cigarettes a day. He lived his life exactly how he wanted to (and don’t think for one minute that this doesn’t anger me at times when I think about how his life ended too quickly). His death shook me up. It reminded me that we are not immortal. I knew then that I had to start taking care of myself or I too would risk heart attack and other health issues. I was a smoker at the time Ralph died. I quit 13 years ago. My weight issues have taken longer to rectify and my shift to a healthier diet didn’t begin right away, but it was constantly on my mind.

I miss Ralph and still think of him often. I wish Carlos could know him. I can only imagine the close relationship the two of them would have. I know that he would have loved my husband. I also think he would be proud of me for how I’ve changed my life over the past few years.

I ran this morning like I do most Friday mornings while Carlos is at school. The weather has been pleasantly surprising me on my run days. It was crisp and cool but the sun was shining bright. I have been experiencing great runs lately and today was no different. My legs wanted to move and my breathing took no time to get under control. I sped around the reservoir at a comfortable yet noticeably faster pace than usual. I completed 4 miles in just under 40 minutes which is a record of sorts for me since I broke my rib back in September. I thought a lot about Ralph on my run. December 2 will always be a day I remember. It will always be a day that reminds me to tell my family I love them, to hug my husband and son as much as possible, and to appreciate life.

Marathon Training: Week 19

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This week I just felt like running. My runs were good and on two occasions I ran more than the scheduled mileage because I felt like it. I enjoyed great outdoor weather for most of my runs. I ran on the treadmill twice and oddly didn’t hate it. One of the days was weather related and the other was by choice. Maybe it’s because winter is near and I understand that the treadmill and I will have to rekindle our relationship.

Date

Scheduled Run

Actual Workout
Sunday, 11/20/11 Rest Day Rest Day
Monday, 11/21/11 5 Mile Run 5 Mile Run
Tuesday, 11/22/11 Rest Day Rest Day
Wednesday, 11/23/11 4 Mile Run 5 Mile Run and upper body strength training at the gym
Thursday, 11/24/11 10 Mile Run 10 Mile Run – My solo turkey trot
Friday, 11/25/11 3 Mile Pace Run 5 Miles on the treadmill including hill intervals and speed intervals; upper body strength training
Saturday, 11/26/11 8 Mile Run 8 Mile Run

Next week marks a big finale to the long runs. I will attempt a 22 mile run either Saturday or Sunday depending on the weather and my schedule which is always subject to change. I’m shooting for Saturday because it would be nice to get it over and done with so I can enjoy the weekend. This will be longest run to date and it will be the furthest distance I run before the marathon. I can’t believe that marathon training has reached this point. I am thrilled with how well it is going despite the early challenges. I haven’t even run my first marathon but I have already compiled a list of reasons why I know it won’t be my last marathon:

  • I have plotted about a million ways I could make the training better next time.
  • I dream about running certain marathons like Chicago, the Marine Corps Marathon in D.C. and New York.
  • Even better than the three I listed above, I convinced my husband with little effort to make our next trip to Mozambique to visit his family in fall of 2013 so I can run the Cape Town Marathon while nearby.
  • Do not laugh but I think someday I could beat Oprah’s time of 4:29:15 in the Marine Corps Marathon in 2009. Nothing wrong with a little friendly competition O!
  • I love having a training schedule. It keeps me accountable and focused. I’m a little apprehensive about not having one, but not to worry I’ve got a plan already in the works for after the Disney Marathon and it’s not another marathon (at least not yet).

I reserve the right to change any and all opinions regarding a second marathon depending on the outcome of the first. These are the crazy things I think of when running. When I’m running the actual marathon this list could turn into reasons why I’ll never torture myself this badly again!!

Have a wonderful Monday!

Weigh in day: Week 4

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I’m just going to get right into it. I weighed myself this morning and I was shocked.

Weigh in #4 = 162

Then I left for my solo turkey trot. I ran 10 miles at the reservoir this morning. I did the same thing last year and I’ve decided to make it a tradition. I did a lot of thinking on that run. At first I was angry, angry at the scale, at myself, at my body. Then the anger turned into a string of justifications. I’m PMSing. I’m running more. I ate more than a few of the treats I baked last night for Thanksgiving including Mama Pea’s Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Balls and Chocolate Chip Cookies with Sea Salt. Vegan does not equal fat free, but it does equal delicious. Try them you won’t be sorry, but only try one or two then give them all away.

After being angry and blaming the weight gain on random things I started to calm down. In my comment on Biz’s Holiday Challenge update this week I wrote:

“OK so as far as the challenge goes, I’m feeling so unaccomplished. I weigh in again on Thursday, but honestly I don’t feel much different. My goal was to lose 10 pounds by the end of the year and I’ve done nothing but stay the same. I was thinking about my goal today. Was it realistic given that I’m training for a marathon? I do not use running as an allowance to eat whatever I want. However, I do realize that I need to nourish my body after it has run 10, 15, 20 miles. I try to be sensible about replenishing calories. I have maintained my weight throughout training and actually have lost 2 pounds since the actual beginning of marathon training.”

I probably won’t lose 10 pounds by the end of the year. That’s ok. I will lose it after the marathon. The scale is not going away yet because this is a challenging time of year. Food is everywhere and not necessarily healthy food. There is a party every week it seems between now and Christmas. I no longer see the holidays as a time to indulge and lose sight of healthy behaviors. I have worked very hard to maintain this weight that I am at for over a year and I intend on staying here until the marathon is over. If I end up losing a pound or two great. I suspect that the 162 is largely due to a bit of water retention and if I’m correct then the scale will return to the 160 it seems so comfortable.

I may not meet my Holiday Challenge goal, but the challenge has helped me to meet other bloggers, stay focused on portion sizes, and be cognizant of what I’m eating despite all the miles I’m running. My weight loss journey is far from over, but at least I’m no longer waiting for it to end. I’m out there running and strength training, playing outside with my son, baking and cooking more and more healthy recipes that are whole food and plant based, eating a rainbow of colors and enjoying it. I’m happy, healthy and I have more energy than I have ever had before.

I am thankful for so many things in my life on this Thanksgiving Day. Here are my top 5:

  • My beautiful son Carlos tops my list. He makes me smile and truly makes me want to be a better person. When I run I do it for both of us. I want him to grow up with a healthy, happy Mom and I want him to know he can do anything he sets his mind to.
  • My handsome husband Orlando is next on my list. We celebrated 10 years of marriage in September and it has been wonderful. I love him very much.
  • Breaking my rib in September…weird right?! I know it sounds crazy, but in a strange way I’m grateful for the experience. It reminded me of how I take my good health for granted sometimes. It taught me to listen to my body and treat it with care. It also proved to me how incredible the body really is and how deserving it is of excellent nutrition and fitness.
  • My job. I’m lucky to have a job and even luckier to have a job that I really like. I have to work tonight and I don’t even mind. I’m looking forward to seeing the girls I work with. We generally have an enjoyable time no matter what.
  • Running. I promise to not get all sappy about how running has changed my life so I’ll just leave it at that!

I am also very thankful for those of you who have been visiting my blog and leaving kind, encouraging comments. Thank you so much. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Wordless Wednesday: Flowers

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It is a bitter cold, rainy day. Last week Carlos and I attended the Chrysanthemum Show at the Smith College Botanical Garden. On this dreary gray day I thought a little color was in order. Here are just some few of the many photos we took. Carlos was using my iPhone and I was using my Canon Rebel T1I which I desperately need to learn more about.

Marathon Training Week 18

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This just might have been my best week of training yet. I ran a lot, much more than I think I have ever run in one week.

Date

Scheduled Run

Actual Workout
Sunday, 11/13/11 13 Mile Run Monson Memorial Classic Half Marathon(13.1 miles)
Monday, 11/14/11 6 Mile Run 6 Mile Run
Tuesday, 11/15/11 Rest Day Rest Day
Wednesday, 11/16/11 8 Mile Run 8 Mile Run
Thursday, 11/17/11 Strength Training Light weights upper body strength training at home
Friday, 11/18/11 4 Mile Run 4 Mile Run
Saturday, 11/19/11 20 Mile Run 20 Mile Run

I ran a total of 51 miles this week. To put it in perspective that would be like me running from my home in the Springfield, MA area to Worcester, MA which is about halfway between where I live and Boston.

The weather has been cooperating nicely with my training schedule. I purposely scheduled my 20 mile run this past weekend because I wanted to have some wiggle room in case of snow and icy conditions. You just never know what you’re going to get here in New England. I have a 22 mile run on my training schedule for the first weekend of December, weather permitting. I know you don’t have to go as high as 22 miles. I’ve discussed it with my cousin who has run a number of marathons and trains a group of Team in Training runners in Florida, and she agrees that psychologically I need the 22 mile run.

My runs were seriously great last week. I felt really good. I had a really bad 8 mile run the week before. This week I enjoyed an awesome 8 mile run. I did a lot of stretching this week. The half marathon on Sunday did a job on my calves with all the hills. I wanted to make sure I was in top form for my 20 mile run on Saturday. Twenty miles is a heck of a long way and deserves a post of its own. So I’ll be back with more on that in a day or two hopefully.

I’m not known for bragging or tooting my own horn if you will. I tend to undermine my achievements or let others take the credit. For some reason my running accomplishments make me so proud I want to shout it out at the top of my lungs. I’ve been so inspired by other bloggers to push myself to new fitness levels, to run races, to try new exercises on the gym and explore new foods and recipes. My words are in no way meant to intimidate anyone. I really hope that’s never the case. Quite the opposite, I hope to show others who have always wanted to run or become more physically fit but don’t think they can that anything is possible. I used to tell myself that I would run when the weight finally came off. Well the weight wasn’t going anywhere but I made the decision to start running anyway. The weight isn’t totally off, but I’m running and accomplishing fitness goals I never dreamed of accomplishing. It sounds so simple, but if I can do it then anyone can. I mean it!

Uphill

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There I was in a sea of runners. The cool air felt refreshing as the race started. I pushed start on my iPod and off I went, slowly at first. I found my place along the left side of the road. This is where I always run. It just feels right. From a cluster of runners the crowd begins to thin as each runner falls into his or her pace. I’m focused on my breathing for the first couple of miles. In and out, in and out until it becomes even and rhythmic. I’m never sure when it happens but at some point in each run my breathing becomes unnoticeable.

Despite all the people running around me I’m not competing against any of them. Each race I race against myself only. This particular race is just for me. I’m not even trying to earn a PR this race. I’m running it simply because I can. Eight weeks ago I couldn’t have run the race. I couldn’t have even run the 5K I was really supposed to run at this event. My revised training plan called for a 13 mile long run. When the weekend neared I knew I wanted to run the half yet I waited though to make a final decision. I kept an eye on the weather. High 50s and sunny the weather bug app showed. My husband finished his weekend job the day before. My sister had some free time and said she would come up to see us and a friend who lives in the same town as the race. My best friend’s house is on the course and her and her family were all going to be home. All signs pointed to running the race except for one. I had to work the night before. I’ve never run anything longer than a 5K race after working. I told myself I have run plenty of long runs after working and the race was simply taking the place of my long run. No pressure. All systems a go.

The hills begin early. The first one is small. I push my shoulders back, head up, eyes down. I focus on the pavement so I’m not distracted by the incline. Here we go. The hills begin to roll, one after another. I tell myself that I’m not taking a walk break until mile 3. I don’t. The route is pretty. Signs of fall fading fast. The crunch of leaves under my feet makes me smile.

Mile 3 comes and goes, other than a quick walk at the water station I don’t stop. I’m trying to enjoy the experience, take it easy with my pace so I don’t burn out and make it up as many hills as possible. I get lost in my own thoughts for the next few miles. I am thinking about this journey to the marathon. I can’t believe that just weeks ago I was in agony with the slightest movement. I glance down at my legs with admiration. These legs I’ve chastised for years for being so big and making me look like an Anjou pear. In case you didn’t know skinny jeans are not made for pear shaped woman. I have new admiration for my legs. They certainly are capable of amazing things. My body is moving effortlessly as my thoughts wander. I can’t help but wonder who I am these days. I don’t even remember what weekends were like before running.

Around mile 6 two of my friend’s sons rode their bikes in my direction. They told me that I would pass their house at mile 7 and then sped off to let everyone know I was coming soon. We were heading up a big hill but as it started to level off I spotted my friend’s driveway. There she was with her four boys, her mom, my husband and my son. They were all cheering for me. My son ran towards me with a cup of water shouting Go Mommy Go Mommy over and over. Runners passed me smiling. It certainly made up for what has become tradition at the end of my half marathons.

I was half way there. The course had a few more big hills to conquer, but I was assured that the last couple of miles would be mostly flat. Sometime around mile 10 my calves started to burn. All those uphill climbs were becoming downhill slides. I tried to take the downhills slowly because I didn’t want to injure myself, but it felt so good to coast along.

The last two miles were along a fairly busy main road. Cars whizzed by. The scenery grew redundant. The sun began to fade and the air grew cooler. I knew the finish was near. Soon I saw it ahead. As I got closer to the chute I scanned the dwindling crowd for my family. I crossed the finish line and looked around again. Somehow I knew they weren’t there. I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself. This was my third half marathon and I have yet to be greeted at the finish by my family. Each race has it’s own comical story. This one is no different. It really doesn’t bother me as long as they are there in some way.

Another race phenomenon unique to me is that I have yet to receive a medal. I’m ok with this too, but that Disney medal is mine!

In 13 months I have run three half marathons. I’ve wanted to write this post for a week because so many emotions ran through me during the race. This one challenged me more than the others. I conquered the hills and surprisingly they didn’t slow me down as much as I thought they would. My body continues to surprise me. I continue to surprise myself.  I suppose it’s fitting that I’m writing this on the eve of my longest run yet. My alarm is set for 5am and tomorrow morning I WILL run 20 miles.

Marathon Training Week 17

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Here is a snapshot of the week’s training schedule:

Date

Scheduled Run

Actual Workout
Sunday, 11/6/11 17 Mile Run 17 Mile Run

 
Monday, 11/7/11 Rest Day 3.15 Miles – Interval training

 
Tuesday, 11/8/11 4 Mile Run 5 Mile Run

 
Wednesday, 11/9/11 8 Mile Run 8 Mile Run

 
Thursday, 11/10/11 Strength Training Rest Day

 
Friday, 11/11/11 Rest Day 20 minutes on arc trainer; 10 min run – 1 mile; strength training 30 minutes

 
Saturday, 11/12/11 13 Mile Run Rest Day in preparation for last minute decision to run half marathon the next day

 

I accomplished a lot this training week. Seems fitting that Week 17 included a 17 mile run. Wow 17 miles was surreal. I left my house at about 5:45 am. I didn’t have an exact route planned out, but I knew that I was headed toward the town my mother lives in. To get there I went through three other towns. I made a pit stop at my favorite reservoir and looped around one time just to pick up mileage. Much of the route was residential including one very long road with sidewalks. Due to the storm many of the sidewalks were littered with tree limbs and other debris. I was jumping on and off sidewalks and running in the road quite a bit. It probably wasn’t the best route, but since I left so early in the morning there weren’t many cars on the road.

I wore my CamelBak under my sweatshirt so I looked like a running hunchback! It was nice to have it right on me though. I fueled with raisins and Honey Stinger Organic Chews. This was my first experience with the Honey Stinger Chews. I like them, but the package is a bit bulky to keep on me. So far I’ve had the most luck with Clif Shot Bloks, raisins and Welches Fruit Snacks. Gu makes me gag.

The weather was on the cool side probably in the 40s. I had gloves that I wore on and off throughout the run. I layered a moisture wicking shirt, t-shirt and thin hooded sweatshirt and wore a pair of capri running pants. I was comfortable the entire time and felt as though I was perfectly dressed for the temperature.

I ran my heart out. I took short walk breaks when needed. I zoned out, listened to music, thought about a million things, made a “to do” list in my head, imagined being at the marathon and what it will be like to cross that finish line. I am pretty sure I actually teared up when I conjured up that mental image. The only thing I didn’t consider was quitting.

When I reached 17 miles I walked for a few minutes. I was still about 3 miles away from my mother’s house so I called and asked her to come get me. She laughed and said, “You made it this far and you can’t run the rest of the way.” She was joking of course. I told her that the plan was 17 miles and I was sticking to it!! My legs were sore at this point. I felt fine otherwise.

I’m not exactly sure who I’ve become, but I have to be honest I really like this super active person. It makes me so proud to think of how far I’ve come. I don’t dread the long runs yet I am challenged by them. Finishing any run is an accomplishment, but there is nothing like completing a double digit run.

Week 17 was a great week. I ran more than I was supposed to simply because I felt like it. I got in a good strength training workout on Friday. I decided on Friday that I was going to run a local half marathon on Sunday. Spur of the moment half marathon? Who does that? Me, that’s who!

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

Hilly

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I did it! I completed my third half marathon today at the Monson Memorial Classic. The entire event is comprised of a 2 Mile Fun Run, a 5K and the Half Marathon. The races are run in memory of sisters Kelly Waldron and Kathy Waldron Perry who died eight months apart from different types of cancer. This year proceeds from the race are going to support the SHADE Foundation which provides education and awareness towards skin cancer prevention and Griffin’s Friends, a local organization dedicated to providing support to children with cancer and their families.

It’s a great event, very well organized, family friendly and an incredible after race event with a huge spread of food, fruit, water bottles, yogurt and bagels. The best part is that my best friend and her family live in the town. The race goes right by their front yard. Orlando and Carlos stayed there while I ran. My friend and her oldest son ran the 5K last year. They hope to join in again next year. It’s definitely an event I can see making a yearly tradition.

It was a fantastic race, perfect weather and a lot of hills! Serious hills. These hills didn’t quit and neither did I. Back with more on this race but right now I need to get some sleep. I’ll close with the obligatory Mommy and Carlos photos I get before each race.

I should note that the sporty little Mercedes behind me is not mine! Cute though. I’ll be back tomorrow with a race recap and my marathon training from last week.

Why not

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This weekend my long run called for 13 miles. I’m getting a little bored with all of my usual running routes. I decided yesterday that instead of doing my long run today I will do the 13 miles tomorrow at the Monson Memorial Classic Half Marathon. Last year my husband and I ran the 5K at this race. It was my first 5K under 30 minutes. We were planning to do it again this year, but things changed a bit when I broke my rib. Also my husband hasn’t had much time to go running lately. Although last year he came in 9th with barely any preparation. Curse those long muscular soccer player legs! Honestly it was incredible. I wish I could have seen him finish, but I was quite a ways behind.

So we will be back tomorrow. I am excited about doing a long run in a different location. I am in no way concerned about time. The course is very hilly and I am not interested in an injury so I am planning to run at the pace I’ve been running and take it easy up the hills.

My best friend and her family lives in the town. I will run by their house at some point. Orlando and Carlos will have fun with them and then hopefully everyone will venture down town to watch me finish. Should be a really fun day and the forecast looks gorgeous.

Hope you’re having a great weekend.