It’s official I’ve registered for the Vermont City Marathon. Today was the last day before prices go up so I had to make a decision. Last night I went for a late run. It was gorgeous out, perfect running temp. I no longer have Map My Run set to announce my pace or time, only mileage. So I just ran and breathed and thought. I admit I was still on the fence about Vermont City.
Here’s the thing, I’m not a whiner. I work really hard, rarely take days off. I don’t complain if I’m in pain, but if I say I’m in pain you darn well better believe something hurts at that point. I am busy, not busier than other people, but busy. I work two jobs. I keep a clean house. I really really enjoy spending time with my son and I cherish that time. Time with Carlos is nonnegotiable and other things often take a back seat. I love my husband, but he’s busy too so trying to find time for us is important. Sometimes my needs get pushed to the side for a bit.
Since my last marathon in September 2013 I have been on a bit of roller coaster of emotions, backsliding into old habits and weight fluctuations which inevitably cause more emotional issues. Then there was “the injury” last year. My Achilles! It set me back further than I ever imagined, taught me a lot about myself and about running. I am a different runner now. A new runner in some ways. I am not a beginner although it often feels like it. There has been some other crap in the last year and a half and compared to things other people deal with my life isn’t so bad. But I realized last night while I was running that these are my trials and tribulations. I don’t have to justify them, feel ashamed about them or minimize them. They are real to me and they have made me cry, feel frustrated and have darn near defeated me some days.
I keep trying though. I keep pushing through and attempting to find a new way to do things both in running and in life. I refuse to give up. Last night while I was running I declared that I will run Vermont City because I CAN! It won’t be a PR marathon for me, but that’s ok. The point is despite my shitty 22 miler on Sunday I could have gone another 4 miles if I had to. I CAN run a marathon. No one says I have to run it fast. I am thankful everyday that my body is healthy and well, my legs allow me to run and my lungs allow me to breath effortlessly.
I run because I love to run. I run because I never believed it was possible for me to run and enjoy it. I run because it makes my body feel good. I run to show my son that commitment and dedication is important. I run because I CAN!
So not only did I register for the Vermont City Marathon I also took on the challenge of the New England Double Marathon which includes the Hartford Marathon in October. Vermont is my entrance back into running the distance…but I’ve got other plans for Hartford.
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Martin Luther King