Yesterday was my 40th birthday. It was also the first day of school for my little guy who is now officially a first grader. This summer flew by in a fun frenzy of soccer camp, marathon training, racing, play dates, hikes, lake trips, family time and more. It was wonderful, but I’m ready for the routine and structure of the school year.
This birthday began very differently than most. It was my first birthday without my Noni. She died in November and I miss her a lot, but more yesterday than any other day. I was born on her birthday. I missed hearing her sing to me yesterday morning. My sister tried, but admittedly it wasn’t the same, sweet, but not the same. I always loved sharing my birthday with my grandmother. It created a unique and special bond between us.
After bringing Carlos to school I went for a run. Since the run was the day before my last 20 mile training run it was put on my schedule as simply a birthday run. I spent my running time reflecting on these last 39 years.
My 20s were stagnant like the murky swamp water behind the trees in this photo. There was a darkness to those years when I look back on them. I really hated my appearance and this negative energy filtered down into my personality, my interactions with others and my overall sense of self. Although I went to college, traveled, worked, joined the Peace Corps and met my husband during my 20s I wasn’t truly living. I certainly wasn’t living up to my full potential. I spent an awful lot of time obsessing about my weight and how it affected my appearance. I tried every diet out there for a day or two with no success. I did nothing to change my problem, instead I just bitched and moaned about it and blamed everyone and everything else.
A light began to stream through that dark place during my 30s. I became a nurse and had my son in my early 30s. It was the latter event that precipitated permanent changes in myself. Having a child begs the question, “how can I take effectively care for another human being if I am not caring for myself, body and soul?” The answer was clear…I had no choice but to finally do something about my weight. Only this time I refused to diet. If I was going to lose weight it was going to be in a healthy, sustainable manner and I wasn’t just going to lose weight. No this time around I was going to change my lifestyle. No more sitting around waiting for change to come to me. This time I had to do the work and I did, one small change at a time.
Some people get all uptight about turning 40. Not me. I’m so honored to be given the gift of another year. I feel infinitely better today than I did at 20 and 30. I’m healthy, fit and energetic. From the dark, murky swamp emerged a glimmer of light. Once I realized how to let the light in I gained control of my life. Now the path ahead is wide open, bright, happy and full of adventure and surprises.
What a beautiful post Aimee! You are so right…we should all feel blessed with the gift of another year of life 🙂 Happy birthday!!!
Thank you so much Kaye.
Happy happy birthday!!! The 40’s look like they have a lot of depth and clarity. First grade has been a dream in our house, hope the same for you!
Thanks Jacky. First grade has been wonderful so far. Carlos has his first spelling test on Friday! This is the real deal.
Hi Aimee! Happy 40th to you! My 40’s so far, over halfway through, have been WAY happier and healthier than my 20’s or my 30’s. So you should look forward to it. You’re doing so well and many great experiences are in your future (and that sounded like a fortune cookie). Drop me a note. 😀
I am looking forward to this new decade Marion. I’m excited about all there is to do and experience. A message is on the way soon!
Happy Birthday, Aimee! What a great post. I hope things just keep getting better and better for you 🙂
Thank you Sam. I hope the same for you too.
Happy birthday! Mine was this past week too and like you, I have no qualms about an increasing age (I’m a couple years from 40 but I don’t see my attitude changing). I feel like my life is getting better and better, and there is so much excitement ahead — and it sounds like the same for you! Wishing you a wonderful year and the best decade yet!
Happy belated birthday to you Carina. I’m hoping to catch up on blogs in the next couple of days. I feel the same as you. I have never felt such a surge of energy as I have in the last couple of years and I have no desire to slow it down. I hope you had a wonderful birthday!!
Happy birthday Aimee!! Yep, the 40s are wonderful – welcome to the club! I hope you share some first day of school pics of Carlos! 😀
I’m really missing my daily dose of Biz! I hope you enjoyed your summer. Thanks for the birthday wishes. I am honored to be a member of the 40s club! I will share pics soon.
Happy B-day, Aimee! You’re so young. 🙂 I’m glad you’ve emerged from the dark murky forest. 40s are a good place to be because you finally have some perspective in life.
Thanks Satu. I feel younger and more alive now than I ever remember feeling. I am happy about that because I can match my son’s energy. I do feel that I have gained some perspective along this journey, but mostly I am humbled by all that I don’t know. There is so much to see, do and learn.
Happy birthday, Aimee. You’ve entered 40 with so much grace. You’re always a source of inspiration for me. Thanks for being here. I don’t always take the time to comment, but I’m always reading.
Warm regards 🙂
I understand completely Emily about not having time. I’ve missed reading my favorite bloggers this summer, but something had to give. I hope you are doing well. I’m always an email away.
I tagged you in an award post for you to respond when you have time:
Hopefully some fun questions! Hope you’re doing well.
Pingback: Waterville Valley: Birthday and a Race | Amazing in Motion