My Noni has always been one of the most special people in my life. Aside from being her first grandchild I was also born on her birthday. Here we are on our most recent birthday this past August.

Birthday Girls

I know that no matter what she claimed about loving all of her grandchildren the same there was no denying that special bond we shared. I could gush on and on about what a truly wonderful person she is, not a bad, jealous, ill willing bone in her body. However, I’m drained emotionally and physically right now.

Noni is in the end stages of colorectal cancer. Last Friday she had a stroke. On Monday she was placed in a nursing home. This has pained my family greatly. My Mom and my aunt, her only children, struggled with the decision, but she cannot be alone for her own safety. Despite my grandmother’s pleas for the better part of her elderly life to remain as long as possible in her home she is, much to our surprise, very happy at the nursing home so far. She keeps telling us how comfortable she is and how nice everyone is being to her.

She is not the same though. She is very weak and tires easily. Her left side is nearly immobile. She needs assistance with everything including eating and repositioning herself in bed. She sleeps a lot, eats very little, chit chats with us briefly and occasionally allows us to wheel her to other parts of the nursing home.

I’ve been going to the nursing home everyday to be with her, sometimes twice a day. It’s where I need to be and want to be right now.