That last post has been stuck in my heart, mind and soul since I hit publish. It came from a deep place and putting those feelings into words was difficult. I wanted to erase it from the blog instantly, but I knew I needed to say those things. I can only learn to love myself once I learn to accept myself, good and bad.
It has always been easier for me to acknowledge my flaws and shortcomings. It’s much more challenging to list the good and positive qualities about myself. After ripping myself up one side and down the other to demonstrate my ugliness, I felt empty and weak. I also wanted to retaliate against my thoughts and show everyone that there is another side to me. I’m in constant conflict with myself. It gets confusing sometimes.
I’m not one dimensional nor am I quite the evil monster as I portrayed myself in that post. I am wonderful things as well. I am a loving mom who would do absolutely anything for my child. I adore my husband and cherish our marriage. I am a nurse who cares for challenging patients without judgment, but rather with a gentle, kindness because no matter what obscenities they are yelling at me or difficulty they present with they are human beings and deserve respect and empathy.
I donate money and time to great causes whenever I can. I’m a loyal friend. I am extremely reliable. I can keep a secret. I offer an empathetic ear for friends and family whenever they need someone to talk to. I am the “there for you when you need me” person.
These are beautiful qualities.